Who Are You?

This always reminds me of the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland or some deep contemplative question that might take a lifetime to answer. Ok, it also reminds me of the theme song for CSI, but somehow that doesn't seem as profound as Alice in Wonderland, go figure.

I am currently dating this guy Dan. I was very tempted at first to call him Habib (only a few of my friends would get this, but it was an attempt at anonymity, odd as it may seem). Regardless, I will call him Dan, because, well, his name is Dan, and somehow, that is almost more vague than Habib, and really, who cares because I really like him. I am not really going to talk much about the specifics of him right now (as much as my mother who I am sure is reading this would like) other than to say he is an amazing guy and nothing like a guy I would have "expected". I think for many years I have put guys in a box: student, finance, construction, medical, engineer, lawyer (notice how they are all labeled by their professions-but we do that don't we?). I have given them nicknames based on their attire or where I met them, but funny thing is, my friends always knew I really liked them when I called them by their name and not a nickname or a label. How many lists have I had in the past for what I wanted? Too many. I wanted them to be fit or I wanted them to be a surfer or I wanted them to have married parents or I wanted them to never have been married or I wanted them to not have kids or I wanted them to have traveled or I wanted them to... (you get the idea). I had these "wants" for various reasons and these reasons were all rational in their time. All of these continued to pose the question: who are you amazing, magnificent, man of my dreams? However, I am starting to think that what is most important is not a list of things I can check off, but instead a person who instead of making it about "him" is making it about "us". I think the checklist is about upping the odds. But really, what about the lottery? As Dan told me last night, someone has to win it! Why not us? (I'm hoping he doesn't cringe when I used his quote in this context) So: summary. I used to think it was about the things that someone did, the things you could check off a list. Now I think it is who they are, and who they are to you.