Meet the Folks

So last weekend, Dan met Mom and Dad. So, let me preface this entire post by saying I love you Mom! (yes, Dad, you too) Ok, so, I love my parents, but for anyone that knows Mom, she can be a bit of a challenge to introduce the new boy to (yes, Mom, you are). She is wonderful, giving, cares about anyone and everyone, and she loves her tea. But, Mom (how to say this delicately) well, just says it like it is. I don't know think she knows what filters are (do you, Mom?). I recall back in high school when I wanted to go out on a date, and she told the guy he had to read the entire book of John before he could take me out. So, that didn't happen (which, of course was her intention. Or, maybe it was to convert him. I can see her chuckling right now, and saying, while chuckling No! He wasn't good enough for you). So on Saturday, Dan met the folks, and I think it went as well as it possibly could go. We sat and had some tea and curry, sitting around the little white table in the kitchen I had grown up in. My Mom asked him questions about his family and how he was raised, about his beliefs and he answered them honestly and as best he could. I sat there intently trying to not "save" him and not be embarrassed at the same time. It was challenging, my emotions went back and forth so rapidly. (Mom, don't ask... no... You don't have to answer that... no.... oh....). But as I sat there wide eyed and mute, they seemed to just be engaging in conversation. So, overall, it seemed to go well, up until the very end when (Ok Mom, I know you meant well, but really?) my Mom took his hands and looked him dead in the eyes and said "I just have to ask you, are you playing the field? Or, are you serious about my daughter?" He was very polite and said,"I am serious about your daughter." But, of course, this was before I could jump in. Ok, so a little much. But, all in all, a good meet and greet, as far as meet and greets with my Mom go. So, what is the point of this rambling you may ask? This pattern over the years has been emerging in which the time it takes someone I am dating to meet the folks gets longer and longer, and I wonder why? My Mom is never going to change, and really do I want her to? No, of course not! (except maybe the playing the field comment) That night as we were leaving and we were "debriefing" I asked Dan how he thought it went and we laughed about the playing the field comment. He just said, "it is obvious that she just cares deeply about you and doesn't want you to get hurt, that's all. If I was playing the field, I wouldn't even be here." He made me realize also that who the guy is makes all the difference in the world. [Of course my mom asked if you were playing the field! She loves me! It takes someone that truly sees the big picture to see the love in a somewhat hilarious comment.] So, what it comes down to is that I think my family represents so much of who I am, my past, my present, my future. They know the true me, my core being. I think that when we let others into that core circle, we are exposing more of ourselves. That is what is scary. And that is what I run away from. And meet the folks, in many ways, becomes, meet me.