Vows

remind me to breathe

There was no alarm.  I took ambien.  Yes, I admit it.  I was going to have a good night sleep and silence everything running through my mind.  It was beautiful.  It was fresh.  It was clean.  It was my wedding day.  My grandma likes to constantly remind me how looong she has been waiting for this day.  Yes, Grandma, me too.  And, I was blessed.  It was sunny... at the beach... in mid-november. I had coconut french toast, he had a veggie omelette with roasted potatoes. We sat and talked like it was a regular day and held hands across the table.  We decided to see each and, in fact, have breakfast and hang out the morning of the wedding because we needed each other's calmness and presence.  I started freaking out a little because of things I cannot even remember now.  He took my hand and said, "breathe".  We drove along the beach and almost stopped for a walk, but realized the morning was running out.  That was part of my morning agenda, how could I not walk on the beach?  "Breathe".  We still hadn't written our vows.  Oh yeah, that was something I was freaking out about.  They say you should write them well in advance and practice, practice, practice.  That didn't happen.  First, he didn't want vows.  Not because he didn't want to commit or promise me, but because it meant he would have to talk in front of an audience.  He doesn't like to do this.  I understand. "Breathe." He loves me; he agreed to do vows.  Second, once we agreed on having vows, he wanted the traditional ones.  Fine, settled.  Third, after looking over the traditional ones the day before, we agreed that we wanted something more personal.  Most of the ones we found online were pretty corny, and we laughed out loud because it wasn't "us".  So, there I was, in the Ralph's parking lot at 10am the morning of my wedding, writing vows while he shopping for soda and ice that didn't make it to the party because we forgot them in the fridge.  He said, it's ok, it will be ok, just keep it simple, "us".  Simple is good.  We will remember them later (and there is less to say in front of people).  So, here is what I wrote, in the parking lot, 5 hours before we said them, to each other, in front of our family.

You are my best friend.  Today I take you to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward. I promise you that I will be faithful and kind. I promise to be patient and to support you to the best of my ability. I promise to laugh with you, cry with you and hold your hand through good times and bad.  I promise to keep you grounded. I will remind you breathe... I vow to cherish you, honor you and respect you. I love you.

It took him a couple of deep breaths to get through.
The part I like the best? It is the thing he does for me every day, and especially on that day.
I will remind you to breathe.