US

Maui

Her Story

So, never having gone on a single date before in my life, I thought perhaps it was time to venture out and give this internet dating thing a try. Dan was the first person I ever met, and the rest is a fairytale. Ok, it didn't go exactly like this, but I believe in my heart that everything happens for a reason. I believe this is the point in our lives that we were meant to meet and the timing was right. Timing is everything. We did meet on the internet, which is a little funny considering we grew up down the street from each other...literally five minutes apart. And yet, we never met; it wasn't time. I was in the same fifth grade class as his step-sister. And yet, we never met; it wasn't time. My sister went to school with his brother. And yet, we never met; it wasn't time. I lived at the beach; he lived at the beach. And yet, we never met; it wasn't time. I tried this internet dating thing before, and yet, never met anyone with whom it clicked. It wasn't time. In fact, I was ready to give up on dating completely, but there was this one last guy I wanted to meet... this cute surfer boy. We talked and emailed and texted, but seemed to have difficulty finding...a time. In retrospect, I would argue that my ridiculous need to schedule everything was in conflict with his ridiculous need to "just see what happens". Regardless, we finally met, and it clicked. And there was a date two, a street fair that turned into a ten hour date! On date three, we went bike riding and had a picnic down by the bay. That day I sprained my finger in a railing, because I am not that good at the whole bike riding and trying to seem graceful simultaneously thing. I remember saying teasingly... you know you are stuck with me now, until this thing heals. He promised. Then, I went to the doctor and they said, this type of sprain never fully heals. I laughed when I told him he didn't know what he had promised. I feel like we were both hesitant and cautious at first. We took the time to get to know one another and it took a while to get to the point we are today. There was a lot of compromise. I've heard people say, they "just knew" from the moment they met someone. I don't know that I would say for me it was an immediate "I KNOW!", but if I had said that, it wouldn't be me. I am careful, analytical and I over think things. When people ask me what I love about Dan, I say, I love who he is, and who he is to me. I love his character. He is a good person; he has integrity. He is honest, thoughtful, kind and loves me for who I am. He is willing to call me on my (very rare) manipulative behavior and (gasp) inability to rinse out my dishes. He is willing to take responsibility and apologize when he is wrong, and forgive me when I am. He does not hold grudges. That is all I have ever wanted. I remember asking my sisters what quality they most loved about their husbands. They both said, their kind hearts, because then you know they will treat you as you deserve to be treated. I found that. Did I know on date one? No. Date two? Maybe. Date three? Hopeful. But, I do know now. I feel completely confident that the time is right.

His Story

She was serious our first date........ She let me know that she wanted to meet me soon, which, by the way, almost didn't happen on my account. This woman

with a pleasant, but serious tone to her voice surprised me when she called in the afternoon, since at this point we had yet to talk on the phone. She was headed back from L.A. and wanted to know if I could meet for a bit. Being surprised, I said let's try for another time, I'm going to jump in the water. Wondering if that was a mistake, I thought to myself, if its going work out... it will. A few days passed by and this woman is calling me again! [my perspective...it pays off to call back] 

Excited and a bit nervous, I answer and we end up on our first date.....

Fast forward two years. In my head it was six months, but she keeps telling me it is two years.

Checking spots to pop the big question on the road to Hana, heart in throat, hands sweaty, and she didn't have a clue! As we were driving I kept saying to myself, "Is this the spot? No, this doesn't feel right. We keep driving and end up going for a gorgeous hike at Waianapanapa park. As we were hiking I see a little point overlooking the ocean and knew this was it! .........The rest is history. I am truly blessed to have this woman in my life. I'm amazed at the wonderful and kind woman that she is.....selfless. She is patient and listens with an open heart. I love her and will be blessed to call her my wife.

P.S.  These are from the wedding site and just don't want to lose all of these random, important words...in digital files somewhere...

Growing up

I found this in a magazine years ago, January 2008 to be exact.  It has been on my fridge ever since.  Today we are cleaning up, and I realized it is time to trash the dingy, ratty page.  It probably applied much more 10-15 years ago, but I still like it; it expresses so well my thoughts about growing up.

You know you're a grown up when:

you're able to say no, no, no! to those adorable boots because you're saving for the trip to Paris (Australia, Thailand, etc.) you've always dreamed of.

the checker at the grocery store calls you "ma'am" and you don't plummet into a month long depression, and in fact, you smile a little...

you say, "I know Mom means well"--and you really mean it. 

waffles become your dinner of choice now and then--not because there is nothing else in the house to eat, but just because you like them.

a normally even-tempered friend flies off the handle at you, and rather than snarling back, you wonder what is actually going on with her.

your primary feeling towards Brittany (or now, Lindsay or and other ridiculous famous person) is one of pity.

you suddenly get why your father complained so much about taxes.

you feel no compulsion to adopt the current sizzling hot (and really stupid looking) fashion trend; you know that, like a mild rash, it will go away soon on it's own.

the idea of staying in is just as appealing (if not more) than going out.

you decide to learn to a) play the piano, b) learn Spanish, c) scuba dive, for no other reason that you want to.

rocking out to the radio no longer embarrasses you.  In fact, you turn it up.

you realize that Prince Charming lives in the same place as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

you also realize that not all the "good ones" are gay or married.

--the proverb, "Life is short, but wide" starts to make sense.

Vows

remind me to breathe

There was no alarm.  I took ambien.  Yes, I admit it.  I was going to have a good night sleep and silence everything running through my mind.  It was beautiful.  It was fresh.  It was clean.  It was my wedding day.  My grandma likes to constantly remind me how looong she has been waiting for this day.  Yes, Grandma, me too.  And, I was blessed.  It was sunny... at the beach... in mid-november. I had coconut french toast, he had a veggie omelette with roasted potatoes. We sat and talked like it was a regular day and held hands across the table.  We decided to see each and, in fact, have breakfast and hang out the morning of the wedding because we needed each other's calmness and presence.  I started freaking out a little because of things I cannot even remember now.  He took my hand and said, "breathe".  We drove along the beach and almost stopped for a walk, but realized the morning was running out.  That was part of my morning agenda, how could I not walk on the beach?  "Breathe".  We still hadn't written our vows.  Oh yeah, that was something I was freaking out about.  They say you should write them well in advance and practice, practice, practice.  That didn't happen.  First, he didn't want vows.  Not because he didn't want to commit or promise me, but because it meant he would have to talk in front of an audience.  He doesn't like to do this.  I understand. "Breathe." He loves me; he agreed to do vows.  Second, once we agreed on having vows, he wanted the traditional ones.  Fine, settled.  Third, after looking over the traditional ones the day before, we agreed that we wanted something more personal.  Most of the ones we found online were pretty corny, and we laughed out loud because it wasn't "us".  So, there I was, in the Ralph's parking lot at 10am the morning of my wedding, writing vows while he shopping for soda and ice that didn't make it to the party because we forgot them in the fridge.  He said, it's ok, it will be ok, just keep it simple, "us".  Simple is good.  We will remember them later (and there is less to say in front of people).  So, here is what I wrote, in the parking lot, 5 hours before we said them, to each other, in front of our family.

You are my best friend.  Today I take you to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward. I promise you that I will be faithful and kind. I promise to be patient and to support you to the best of my ability. I promise to laugh with you, cry with you and hold your hand through good times and bad.  I promise to keep you grounded. I will remind you breathe... I vow to cherish you, honor you and respect you. I love you.

It took him a couple of deep breaths to get through.
The part I like the best? It is the thing he does for me every day, and especially on that day.
I will remind you to breathe.