Que Sera Sera

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When we were little, my Mom actually used to sing to us. Actually, she still does. She always has a song in her heart. So does my Dad (although his tone is not quite there, his heart is all in it). When he is happy, he will sing at the top of his lungs and actually skip. Is is so fun to see them two of them when they are in a good mood, which usually involves children, act like children. But as children, and even as adults, we are so obsessed with the future. That old saying 99% of what you worry about never happens, and yet, we still do it. Or at least, I still do it. I find myself worrying more lately than I should. I worry about what the future holds. I worry about where my life is taking me. I worry about whether a meeting or a lesson will go well (well, not really, but I should). I worry more about personal stuff like life and love. But, I try not to, because I can't control it. And funny thing is, when I do try, it kind of unravels a little. When I let go, it comes together. Why must the simple be so complicated? In fact, on a side note, I considered writing about Valentine's day, but nixed that quite quickly when I realized I pretty much hate Valentine's Day. I would say that it is because I am not mushy (in general, I am not). I would say it is because I am cynical (in general, I am). I would say it is because everyone around me is all lovey dovey, which is as annoying as well...anything (cynicism rearing its ugly head again). But, honestly, it is probably because it has been a bit of a disappointment every single year, well, for as long as I can remember. So something simple like Valentine's Day, a day to celebrate love and friendship and the color red and chocolate is suddenly this big flashing "Stop light" (thanks to our ASB for this analogy-really?) of complex meanings. Because I make it that way! Yes, I do! I over analyze and pick everything apart. If you know me at all, you know I do this, and you tell me to stop. This, while making me an excellent giver of logical advice, makes my head spin about simple things like Valentine's Day and complex things like the FUTURE... But, perhaps, there is some truth in the song we all know, because sometimes the living is in the letting go.

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera

What will be, will be
And.... (hit play here)

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