I was reading a magazine this week and there it was, right in my face, Valentine's Day. I really don't like Valentine's Day. I hated it when I was single, and even now, I'm not sure about the obligatory Hallmark Holiday. I always wear black.But, I feel change coming. This year, I'm not dreading it, and in fact, (gasp), maybe even looking forward to the obligatory dinner and flowers. (I wrote this before Valentine's Day, but posted it after. He brought me beautiful gerber daisies and made dinner reservations! See pictures)
What changed? Other than my martial status (which is kind of weird to check on forms), I think what is changing is my heart.
Love is patient, love is kind, love never fails...
Ok, let's be real. These are great ideals for what love should be, but unfortunately love does fail you. Remember that first broken heart you had? The second, the third, and maybe many more? Maybe that's why I have hate Valentine's day... So, I began thinking...what have I learned over the past years? What would I go back and tell my teenage self?
Love is not always easy, but it should not always be hard.
Love is not a knight in shining armor. Perfect and perfect for you are not the same thing.
Pay attention to the little things he does (or doesn't) do, they will reveal his true heart.
Pay attention to what he does, not what he says.
When you know it isn't right, leave, no matter how hot he is. One second chance, no more.
Love is not going to be what you expect.
Lists are not bad, they helps you focus on your priorities. But, keep it real.
Red flags are red for a reason.
Don't test him, and don't sabotage what you know is a good thing.
Don't play games.
I'm not saying don't play the dating game, but don't mess with people, it's not nice.
If they don't pay for the first date, don't go on a second. It doesn't have to do with equality; it has to do with manners.
Have fun! Dating is fun. Love is fun. Ok, I gagged a little while writing this, because love is fun. Dating is NOT fun.
I'm still not a believer in "soul mates" or "I met him and I just knew", but as you know, I'm not really a romantic at heart. I would say, don't give up.
What do I know for sure?
When someone loves you, you just know. If you don't, they don't.
I wish I wasn't so jaded. I wish I hadn't spent so much time defined by my relationship status. But, it's hard with society and social life revolving around whether you have a plus one. I wish so many people weren't saying, you seem so happy now that you're married. I wish I had radiated that happiness before. But, honestly, I am happier. I am more optimistic. I don't even think it is the status as much as the person that made the status. He makes me a better person, a happier person. But, just because I am me, even with a plus one, I'm still wearing black on Valentine's Day, but maybe I'll wear red accessories. (I did). Maybe, just maybe, I'll buy a cute card and write mushy stuff in it. (I did this too. Maybe I am changing).
